Insomnia in Early Recovery
I once had a psychiatrist tell me that the closest we ever come to psychosis is when we are asleep, dreaming. And I remember how, in the early stages of my recovery from a periodic relapse, I had the usual insomnia, tossing and turning, compulsively yearning for sleep as a respite from hyperactivity. This usually lasted about two or three nights, if I was lucky. And I remember one occasion when I seemed frantic, desperate for an unconscious moment, ready to do anything for the solace of sleep, when a sense of blissful serenity came like an enveloping cloud and I seemed reassured from some hidden source that everything would be alright. And so I fell into a sound and deeply refreshing sleep and my recovery began. That was nearly 29 years ago and I have not had a drink since. Yet, just this afternoon, shortly after taking blood pressure medications which have a soporific effect, I dozed off and had a deeply depressing nightmare. It was as if I was at odds with my wife and family, rejecting their concern for me and isolating myself in some sad and lonely way. I was glad to wake up and find myself once more in a much happier and encouraging world.
The reason I say this is to suggest to those who are in the early stages of recovery to (1) not drink, (2) seek medical help, and (3) try to be patient, let nature take its course, give your body time to heal, normalize its metabolism, awaken the brain’s more rational regions. Sleep will eventually return even if, at first, it does not come in the night time. Lying awake in the early morning hours, it may help to watch TV if it is available either on a set or on a computer, taking care to avoid horror movies and the like! For one should gradually subdue the horrors which lie within.
W.