I told him, but he is a private doctor. In Italy there are public doctors which are free of cost (but you have to wait for an appointment, sometimes months) and private doctors. With the private doctors they send everything through the private system. So he wants to meet with me first and then suggest the right place. He said on the phone today "in any case, this is all by appointment so a day or three won't change anything" So I'll just keep on. I promise to all of you that I wake up each day wanting to be sober. I try. But come 10":30 or 11, I just can't take it anymore and go to drink. It sucks because I find others there drinking at that hour. I feel ashamed and take my glass around to the outside, to hide from anyone who might pass, but no one really cares. The only time I feel bad is when another mother from the school passes to get a coffee or get something from the market next door. I feel so embarrassed.