KIR, good that you are focusing on what's happening (another benefit of regular, open and honest posting here). I think that there's a good deal of habit involved and that takes time to separate. For example, when I was angry, I would have a drink to cool me down, when I was sad ... Etc. it got to the point where any emotion became an excuse to drink. For me, dealing with my addiction meant breaking the associations between each feeling and drinking. It didn't seem to work en masse!
. Now that I seem to have managed all those break ups, life is simply calmer and steadier - and mostly happier.
Knb, a real "life changing trigger" is a situation that can happen to any of us. I've been working on my thinking in reaction to things that happen and effectively training myself not to automatically think of alcohol or anything else mood-altering. Other images can help to displace alcohol with something non-toxic like: meditation, yoga, a workout, going for a run, going shopping with a sober friend, planning a vacation. These things may not be a 100% substitute for alcohol, but they can reduce the intensity so we can manage more easily. Just my opinion!