(((Bengalsfan)))),
Please post your story on a new thread so that you will get all the attention and support that you need right now. So many of us here have been through some or all of what you're going through. By being here, and focusing on ourselves (and not the A), we have learned to make our own happiness and health top priority. We would love to share that with you. I promise that you can be happy not matter if you chose to stay or go, and no matter what happens with your husband's drinking.
I look forward to hearing more from you!
Shannon