Hi Mrskw- I know that feeling... the only thing getting me past the 3am anxiety and regret was the thought that the future is unwritten and I can make a change.
This afternoon I made the decision about 16 times to drink the remainder of half a bottle of vodka tonight. I made the decision NOT to, about 17 times. So that has officially won out and I am very happy and proud to say I made it thru day 4! Gosh this is hard though... that little voice in my head is telling me that Ill certainly slip up eventually...