Hi Drash
If you believe drinking is a problem then it is, your external life doesn't need to be falling apart to justify internal pain. You are not hopeless, like someone already said you just need a plan.
1stly you need to commit to sobriety. In the beginning it will be difficult to resist having a drink. This is because you brain is hard wired to drink through repeated behaviour over years. It's your brains response to any number of things, be it boredom, insecurity, negative feelings, apathy, feelings of elation etc.
As long as you give in to the urges you are strengthening these neuro pathways in the brain so that picking up a drink remains compulsive. If you stop acting on that behaviour in time the neuro pathways will weaken but it takes time.
I've made the mistake in the past of thinking that all I need to do is stop drinking long enough and the desire will go away. This is white knuckling it and it won't last forever. I guess if you could do it long enough the desire to drink would eventually subside but I doubt you would be very happy. You need to create new neuro pathways by practicing new, positive behaviours. This is the hard part and takes discipline. Your brain would rather do the familiar and easier option of picking up a drink. It doesn't care whether the behaviour is positive or negative. Over time the neuro pathways associated with drinking will fade and the ones associated with more positive behaviours will strengthen.
You will need to figure out for yourself what positive behaviours you want to pursue. For me it's exercise and getting in shape, taking more pride in my job (I'm a carpenter), playing golf, building wooden model ships, hiking and appreciating nature, reading and Learning. In the future I want to study.
Because you would go for a drink on a Friday it's very important you find something else to do on that night and stick to it. I too have been in and out of AA and it's not for me but I do think it has a lot of positives, especially in early recovery. It's a place to connect with others who aren't drinking and by focusing on others you are distracted from what your negative brain is telling you. If what they preach is what you struggle with try not take it too seriously and rather focus on the people in the room and there experience. A meeting might be the best thing you can do on a Friday night in place of drinking. Also try SMART recovery meetings.
No matter what don't drink, if the noise in your head becomes too much call someone (this is where AA is good) reach out to people here on sober recovery too. I know it's last thing you want to do but do it. Things that are difficult or even painful in the beginning become easier with practice. The most important thing is not to drink. Also be careful of replacing drinking with negative behaviour. These could also create neuro pathways that are unhealthy.
You are not your brain and you are more powerful than your brain you just need to feed it positivity. At a later stage you might want to also seek councilling if there are deep seated emotional issues that need addressing.
I just want to add that I'm not a mental health professional. Everything I've said here relates to my own experience, research and what makes sense to me and has helped me stay sober. The most important thing is your desire to stay sober and change your life. If you have that and nurture it anything is possible. You don't have to do it alone either. Good luck with your journey ahead.