You have the weight of the world pulling you down. I've been where you are but with an alcoholic husband and years after that divorce - with a heroin addict. The problem ended up not being them..it was me. Codependency was screaming in my face ! I remembered how I rejected it while I was married. Please read the sticky at the top of this forum and if you can read of listen to the book Codependency No More by Melody Beattie. I have spent so many years fighting it ... And now I am lifting the bricks off one at a time. Freedom awaits you. We are kind souls ... Maybe too kind. I will keep you in my prayers. You are not alone. Hugs ,
Joie