I got pushed so hard today. So hard. I actually pointed at my wife in the middle of some kind of breakdown/rant she was going through , where all the bottled up grief and whatever else was poured on me, ( I did hurt her feelings unintentionally), and said " there's NOTHING you can say or do, to make me drink today! She's not the cause anyway, but an alcoholic doesn't need any real prodding to drink. It's inside us wether we take a drink or not. Today was hell, and part of it was ok. It would've been all bad, if I'd been drinking.
I can't identify the switch inside me that stops me from continuing the cycle, but I'm surely thankful to be sober.
Once again, I'm daunted by the task of rebuilding things that have been lost , between my wife and me. I told her today we need to go to marriage counselling, but I want to make sure she gets going tomorrow with the grief/ emotional counselling. Life is so hard for her sometimes, and yea she's bad to me, and I'm bad to her ( another deadly cycle), but we've roughed out some horrible times together, I just hope we hold on.
Anyway. Thankful for one week sober. It'll get harder I guess.
So will I.
Hugs