I have hand weakness and a neck/arm/hand condition (thoracic outlet syndrome and mild carpal tunnel syndrome) so it is not good for me to do laborious tasks with my arms outstretched.
Have you been to a physical therapist? Would it make it easier for you if your doctor/PT advised you to forgo massaging your husband?
What you have is no joke. I had to go through six months of weekly PT with ultrasound - drugs merely masked the cause. Mine was so bad my hand started shaking, and I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to carry my bridal bouquet down the aisle. My boss was freaked out that I wouldn't be able to work and would have to go on disability. They were the ones who begged me to go to PT. My then fiance now husband had to do all the chopping and food prep because the pain was so bad.
Your husband is going to complain all he wants but you cannot aggravate this condition. You have to do the exercises to get better and he will have to figure out another way to get his needs addressed. Not because you won't do it, but because you CAN'T.
Please do not screw around with this. Once you start dropping stuff on the floor, it's no fun at all.