alterity

I'm primarily here as the older sister (surrogate parent) of a meth/coke/etc addicted young man (5+ years of coming here) but I need to vent a little about my husband. He's morbidly obese at around 100 lbs overweight. I don't care about his appearance. That's not the issue. What I am concerned about is his health. For example, he is on his feet all day for work. The varicose veins in his legs are worsening. He has terrible back pain problems. Etc. I can barely feel any muscles in his back when *trying* to give him a massage. The layers of fat prevent the ability to give him much therapeutic relief. I am fairly certain he has gained about 30 pounds since we met a few years ago. He didn't have a double chin before and he was much easier to massage. I have hand weakness and a neck/arm/hand condition (thoracic outlet syndrome and mild carpal tunnel syndrome) so it is not good for me to do laborious tasks with my arms outstretched. However, he does not hesitate to ask me to massage him. Often. I have alluded many times to how hard it has become to get "in there" to his muscles. I have alluded to how he can actually do something to make things better for himself. I have alluded to the connection between being overweight and back problems. He says he doesn't care. He doesn't want to do anything to improve his condition and wants me to continue harming my own health to "help" him. I sort of feel like I am "enabling" as much as I despise that term. I'm getting frustrated and losing patience.

I really needed to get that out as it's not something I can discuss with him or anyone else for that matter.

Thanks, SR!