24 for me please!
Cococo- I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like she just doesn't get it. She sounds very quick to judge- bit like my MIL and SIL. How awful, her using you saying about your plans to stop drinking to 'prove' you are an 'alky'. Like its a competition between her and her friends to say 'I told you so.' She's obviously got nothing better to do with her life. Over time you may pity her, but I totally get your anger/upset. And well done for not drinking- an evening with my inlaws was a HUGE trigger for me.
Many people do have the perception that alcoholics are weak willed losers. And yes, when someone is an active alcoholic they may behave in a way that is embarrassing, unreliable and lets people down. So we can understand why that perception may be there.
Thing is, it's not true. Alcoholism is an illness and it is not selective. I have not met anyone on SR who I would consider a 'loser.' I am a doctor and have met many alcoholic patients, active and sober. I would not call any of them 'losers.' And I too am an alcoholic and I wouldn't call myself a 'loser' either! It can affect anyone. It is not down to 'willpower'. If that was the case, there wouldn't be so many of us here. It is an illness, just like diabetes or asthma.
Whether you choose to describe yourself as 'alcoholic' or not is irrelevant. Personally I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. It's not your fault. The main thing is that you are now SOBER. That is something to be proud of. And as time passes you will feel better and better.
If your mum can't be happy and proud for you too, forget about her.
Wishing you all the best and sending you hugs xx