Hi all
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".
Why did I tell her
. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.
If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.