Rcvringaddict30

That's really good to hear, Dee.

And I'm not going to lie, I'm still guilty of harboring fantasies in my mind about drinking moderately in the future, despite the fact that it's held me back and practically destroyed everything in my life.
Then I play the tape forward, and try to remind myself of the fact that it has kept me stuck thus far, and I will never be able to actually learn what it's like to be on my feet if I drink.
When I left work tonight, I felt a little odd because it was the first job I've ever had where I had to work later on a Friday night. My Friday nights were almost always happy hour and then binge drinking into the wee hours of the night. Well, now I work in a touristy town I've always considered a great party spot for me, where there are lots of bars, and of course people flood in on Friday nights and Saturday nights. I watched people walking to The BYOB restaurant with bottles of wine in hand, which is in the building I work, and had a twinge of envy. I thought about all the fun times I've had out in this town with friends. But then I reminded myself about all of the negative consequences, including driving the 30 minutes home after having a few of those cocktails in a town where Police are extremely vigilant about nabbing drunk people coming out of the bars. It's like shooting fish in a barrel in that area.

So, I told myself that it was okay cannot be out among the social gatherings at bars(even though that's all I've known and I am a very social butterfly), and it was okay to instead drive home unscathed directly from work and to order Chinese food...and then eat massive amounts in front of the television well checking in on SR.