You sound so smart at such a young age...good for you.
Does your doctor know your drinking history? He/she may be able to help find you some detox or rehab support.
There is one secret booze really doesn't want you to know...it causes anxiety. And then once you're addicted, withdrawal makes the anxiety worse...it's a vicious cycle and while it certainly feels like all your bad emotions are real, they're sooo exaggerated by the effects of drinking.
You can do this!