tnek97

Hi all,

I'm on day 35 of sobriety...

I just got back from a long weekend at the beach with two close friends. Going in to the weekend, I felt very strong, and had prepared myself for the conversation about why I wasn't going to drink, etc. But lo and behold, on the drive to the beach, my AV became strong. I began compromising everything...maybe just have one at dinner. Maybe just have one after dinner at home with them. Maybe this weekend could be the test...drink now, go back to sobriety on Tuesday.

At one point, I literally said "f*** it" in my head, I want to drink. Thank god for my friends, because I made a point to bring up having a vacation drink with them, and they both said "no, we can't drink in front of you, we're going to support you." Old me would have gotten very defensive, and put off...don't compromise yourself for me! And I almost drank just to spite them. Crazy. Fortunately, on the drive to dinner, I realized how big of them it was to say that, and to support me, and to want to support me. Yes, I wanted a beer at dinner (as we're sitting on a pier over the ocean...c'mon!), but as soon as the food came out I calmed down. And as soon as we were back at the condo, I felt even better. And when I woke up the next morning, and sat on the patio watching the sun rise over the Atlantic...sober...I felt a hell of a lot better.

The AV showed up a couple more times, but not as strong. Each time I did feel a little resentful: why can't I sit at this beach bar and have a drink while on vacation like everyone else?! But I know what would happen...I would have ended up back at the condo, pouring more, and sneaking whiskey into the bedroom as soon as everyone went to bed. And pouring brandy into my coffee in the morning. And walking the beach with a red solo cup at 11am. So yes, I had the AV fight. It was bad...but thanks to my friends, and some sober thoughts, and thinking of all that I've read here on SR, I survived.