Hi everyone....I wanted to check in to reconnect with all of you. I'm so dreadfully tired of my back and forth with this. I just feel like I'm either on a high of sobriety, slipping back into drinking, or back on day one trying it once again. It's an exhausting cycle.
I know that I needed to add something more to my resources, to my plan, to my tool box. I just didn't know what else to do. But yesterday I purchased the book "30 day Sobriety Solution" by Jack Canfield after hearing him speak about it on the Recovery 2.0 conference this weekend. So I've done all the preliminary work and I've committed to staying sober and completing the action steps daily. I know there is no "solution" to sobriety, and I don't love the title, but I do like approach and the structure it provides.
As badly as I want to be and stay sober, obviously there are some pieces missing or I wouldn't keep going back to drinking after a few days or weeks. So on top of SR, podcasts,and journaling, I am adding this program and committing to it each day.
The bottom line is that it all comes down to me. SR can't do it, a book can't do it for me. I have to be the one to take the action and not just when it's easy, because that seems to be my pattern. I fall short when it's not so easy and I seemingly abandon all I know and all the resources I've accumulated, and just mindlessly...go for the drink without a fight.
30 days is a solid short term goal.
So I'm glad to be back with all of you, glad to see your posts and sharing your ups and downs. I'm feeling very raw today (typical day one emotions), so forgive me if this post is a little scattered, and self -centered.
Honestly just ready for bed and to get this day one over with.
Love to all.