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Old 02-21-2016, 03:33 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Cellardweller
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 111
Hey,

Honestly, I don't have a plan. What usually works for me is completely getting off the sauce then compensating through exercise. Borderline unhealthy/obsessive amounts. I was told that was unhealthy by a friend, but in my mind thought that it was a good trade.

I'm usually fully on or fully off. More so lately. I am not ready for any meetings, for a number of reasons. However I do find it hard to explain my struggle to my parents, or relating to other people.

I'm mostly afraid of what that would mean for my job. I feel I might be able to continue in my industry, but in a different role. I actually find that my overconsumption happens during "off time", not related to work. Which brings me around to investigate personal problems/loneliness/boredom. I have to deal with those.

I'll continue the conversation on here, but will not update on my sober status. The whole not drinking/drinking cycle, when I falter, makes me feel kinda phony. All the motivation in the world, saying "I won't do that again", then doing it again. It's all silly. Also, I will adhere to forum guidelines.

All the best.

edit:

When making life decisions, my father suggests making two columns on a sheet of paper: Pro's/Con's of whatever you're looking at.

I've thought through this before and for booze, it's pretty lopsided. Laughably so. But, here I am.
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