Hi S L 90.
The moment we remove the alcohol from our body and from our system we are left with ourselves our old head ,thoughts ideas etc , we need to change from the person that brought us in to the rooms its hard to stay stopped if we think the same way , the more effort we put in ? the more progress we make .
AA program talks about the ''obsession '' has been removed physical compulsion and mental obsession that only happens if we thoroughly follow the suggested path . Early on thoughts and cravings do not last if we take action , sometimes there may be a trigger ''example '' our minds remember the feeling of ease and comfort like remembering the feeling of euphoria of sedation via injection which is mind altering , sedation is acceptable if there is just cause , I have known people, and did it myself years ago where I rationalized and justified smoking joints , heavy gambling /affairs because ''at least I wasn't drinking '' I call that ''excitement chasing '' we cannot kid ourselves that is the wisdom to know the difference , at least you did not indulge and the fact is that the'' infrequent events'' when this happens and you resist the more natural it feels and you will do so without thinking .
Do you have a sponsor who is helping you through the program ? if not it would be a good idea to fix one up , take care .
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 . words are easy music is harder .