Short,
If it quacks like a duck....
Seems like you drank really hard off and on....like me.
My withdrawals got progressively worse each binge episode.
If I stayed drunk, daily maintenance drinking...3 or 4 units...I felt normalish.
But, then I would binge it up...20 units...once in a while...
Of course I would be wrecked for several days....anxiety, light headed, weak etc.
Then the desire...need to drink...would become strong.
Once I made it 27 days...I feel like i was feeling good, but not really positive...but then I got hammered.
Bottom line.....
Alcohol is poison. It causes brain damage. Respect that it is highly addictive.
It is legal and easily obtained.
Those of us that admit and accept we have a problem have a fighters chance.
It only takes a few days days, 30 plus in my case, to get through the physical detox...I think my pancreas was freaking out...
But, the brain damage is deep...deep...deep...
I still get anxiety dealing w life sober. No where near like it was 6 months ago...but it is there.
I am on no meds. I can't take them because of my job. I just deal w life.
Sometimes it sucks, but mostly it is amazing being on parole from the prison of booze and addiction.
Never going back.
Thanks for the post. Hope this contribution helps you stay clean forever.