Originally Posted by Mel12

I cannot shake the thought that I never actually feel good. I can enjoy things to a certain degree, but I always seem to carry a good amount of discomfort in my "mind/body," as it were. If I do not go to the gym frequently, I start to feel quite bad, so I am glad to have exercise upon which to fall back. But exercise seems not enough to close the gap.

Of course feeling bad is a major trigger. This morning I awakened and the first thought was "I feel unbelievably weird; how I am going to get through the day?"

Perhaps others can identify with what I am saying here. Thank you for listening.

Mel

Originally Posted by Badger07

I come here every day to reaffirm my commitment not to drink. I reaffirm the commitment to my fellow brothers and sisters here who share the same goal to stop drinking. I reaffirm the commitment to my family and those that depend on me.

I know this is necessary but I struggle. I have conflicting feelings. On the one hand I miss drinking. It was / is a release for me. Its like saying goodbye to an old friend. I realize the friend is not good for me but he has been with me for quite some time. On the other hand I am ashamed of my actions. I have let this go way too far. I have put my family in a difficult spot and I have done some stupid ****.

I am angry that I have this problem. I was born with depression (runs in the family) and it seems that I have to fight every day to be “normal” like others. I sometimes feel sorry for myself. Then I get angry again that I am being a wussy and force myself to buck up and continue the fight. I grow weary at times.

Thanks for listening to my rant. That is really all it is. I know what I need to do. There is only one answer here – stop drinking and continue to work on being a more healthy person.