Bemyself, I'm sorry to hear about the wine, I had to finally get to the point where alcohol was just not an option, for any reason, ever. In the beginning it was hard. But I knew that relief was no longer found through the alcohol. Only the memories of relief. And memories are powerful.
That's what the disease remembers, those times when it still worked to have a drink. With us, it will never work again. It only brings us suffering. It makes the depression deeper and darker. And starts the beast tantruming again and emboldens the AV with its lies.
Love from Lenina