BTW Cow, blossom / chook (Aussie things, ignore if you want but terms of great endearment):
I have resorted to the wine, for the last few days, too. I too suffer from the depressions; they come and go in flare ups just like my physical pain (big on the scale in recent weeks).
Sometimes - like now - I just feel that I tried for recovery so late in my life that it's all so literally baked-in, all my 'work' on it can't give me or my loved ones some perfect result. I mean that, in a very deep way. It's very dispiriting.
Yet. And yet. I come back here and to my various other places of some tiny hope. You do too. We do this, against all our odds, non?
Remember Robby, and so many others like him: our friends who stood by us when it's soooo tough.
xxx Vic