In our recovery, a deeper love allows us to have a respectful distance from others.
It has taken me a long time to recognize that it can take more love to let go than it takes to jump in and try to fix things for people I care about.
This is even more difficult when I can see the darkness awaiting them ahead, and I have to let them find their own way in and out of that darkness, just as I had to find my own way. I watched for years as my son made bad choices, and, like Teach, tried to save him from himself, and all that ever did was take me into the darkness with him rather than draw him into my light.
Even today, when I know that he is still going deeper into his darkness, I can only keep my candle lit and hope one day it is enough for him to find his own way back. It's probably the hardest thing a codie can ever learn to do, and it doesn't always get easier, but it is always the right thing to do.
When we allow our loved ones and friends to confront the natural consequences of their own actions, they learn and grow just as we do. We can be with a friend, but we are no one's Higher Power.
Just for today, I will remember that I am not anyone's Higher Power, and trust that their own Higher Power will watch over them. That takes a lot of faith, but it is better than responding in fear.
Hugs
Ann