I've been on here for years and this is one of those rare posts that reaches out of the screen and grabs me. This is exactly how I went through each and every day for a period of about four years. 365 days a year. There was never a day where five o'clock came and I wasn't drinking again. The worse the hangover the more I had to drink to feel normal and relaxed and sleep the next night. Every single night.
That's not to say I felt good for the five years before that. I drank about nine years, daily, in total.
But those last four years were a special kind of hell. It's when my heavy drinking turned into serious alcoholism.
I felt so terrible every day I wondered if I would have a stroke or a heart attack. My blood pressure was consistently 180/something during those four years. I sweated all the time and had the daily emergency trips to the bathroom that you mentioned.
I stopped in June 2014 and I have had a sip of alcohol since.
There is a life on the other side. You'll get there too.