Welcome and congratulations on 12 days! You have some hope because you are here. You are seeking help. I remember how hard the first days and weeks can be. Alcohol allows us to escape the emotions we don't want to feel so that can be rough. It's like years of trying not to feel anything makes even the smallest thing seem huge. In the early days the only thing that I could do to find peace was "cease fighting everyone and everything" and just take the suggestions that were given to me by the people who had more experience at this sobriety thing than I did. It seems to work. Hang in there. If you do, things will get better. They already have in some ways, I'm sure.