Welcome to you, Jane. We know just how you feel, and we are with you.
Be proud of yourself for those 12 days sober. Yes, it is hell early on - but please know it gets so much better. I experienced those same feelings - I'd been drinking for many years & couldn't imagine what life would be like without it. Yet I knew it was slowly killing me and it had to stop. Keep talking to us - we are here to help. Life is going to get so much better for you.