Screen, intercept the mail.
She has no right to be doing that and he's probably putting her up to it.
It's a form of stalking and harassment I'd say.
Originally Posted by
theuncertainty 
I know she means well. Sh--. The last one I had to deal with did, too. It's just too bad that the "I'm only doing what's for the best" is what they think AXH wants and not what DS needs......
I'm trying very hard to not message her - the current one.
They sent a gift for DS and he left the card out after he read it. She sent a long note asking him to send them pictures; they would love to see him. Asking him to write; they so very much want to hear from him. Offering to send him photos of his father; he loves and misses him so. And repeat it all again.
1. AXH lost his right to see and talk to DS with the last custody hearing and after his last GF won a restraining order against him.
2. DS is 11. 11! He's still in grade school.
3. She's essentially a stranger to DS. He met her briefly at his grandfather's funeral. And she's begging him to send photos and write.
4. I send AXH the school picture order forms every year, so he can buy his own d--n school pictures for him and his family. And he doesn't.
5. AXH lost his rights to see DS. The court deemed him dangerous enough to say "no more" until AXH does some serious work on his issues. And AXH has to go back to court to prove it.
I don't want to open and screen the stuff they're sending, but it's unfair to ask DS to carry the weight of making a relationship with his abusive, alcoholic father.
I know that messaging her to tell her to stop and that AXH has a lot of stuff to do before he can be in DS's life will only sound to her like I'm a vindictive ex-wife. I know I could send her the court paperwork and transcripts from the hearings and the info on his last restraining order (and what he did to warrant it) and she still wouldn't believe it.
I know that the more she pushes AXH to fight to see DS, the more angry AXH will get, because he HASN'T told her the truth about why he can't see DS and why he WON'T do what the court told him to do. And there's now over 2000 miles between him and I, so she's the one who would be in more danger.
Do I tell her to stop and why? Knowing she won't believe it. Or do I just start screening the stuff they send so I can get a heads-up on what to talk about with DS? Or am I being an overprotective mom?