Originally Posted by
Madruski 
And no time or desire for a social life.
The only desire is to drink after a hard days work(carpenter) . probably a bottle of wine a night , and a box of beer for Saturday night.
I know, its not ALOT of overboard drinking, in fact a bottle a night some ppl consider normal. But iam only 25, its just gonna get worse as I get older.
I actually have no desire anymore too meet new friends, date and meet woman, shop for new cloths, or even exercise. Working 50 hours a week plus drinking is a real drain on my health and life outlook.
But I wonder, is it the bottle? Or am I just naturally lazy.
I don't mind the work, its the drinking that ruins everything. Longest I've gone is 30 days without. And frankly sick of trying to quit over and over .
I look at some "healthy" people my age , and envy how they haven't let themselves be pulled into this maelstrom of constant hangovers and life disappointment.
In regards socialising, iam abit of an anti social person and abrutally honest realist,. And suppose it's anxiety that's always there , I have learned to overcome it. But the effort is huge to constantly fight the anxiety , so I don't bother dealing with it, easier to just stay at home and let the other young people be friends togethor without me. I have no friend's
Except the bottle.
Thanks for the read. Needed to vent
former nail banger here.
when i was banging nails i thought all nail bangers went home and enjoyed a few drinks after a hard days work(it is quite a labor intensive job and quite a lot of math and logical thinking involved- not as simple as just do what the print says).
when i was drinking i considered a 6 pack or pint normal AND i deserved it at the end of the day- a lie and rationalization from an alcoholic in denial.
but the disease of alcoholism progressed.a 6 pack was a primer. no matter how hard i tried i just couldnt stop at 6. i couldnt stop at 8 or 10. i couldnt stop until i blacked out and passed out.
then i got sober. i was surprised at a couple things:
my work became even better- i paid more attention to detail.
i had more energy thru the work day. still whipped by the end of an 8-10 hour day, but i wasnt draggin but at 10am.
i noticed not everyone on the crew "enjoyed" a few drinks after work.noticed there are actually quite a few in the trades that dont drink!
and i wasnt sick if the insane cycle of repeating the drinking over and over- no more waking up hung over after i had "planned" on having "only a couple" the night before only to get blackout drunk.
social life? with lotsa work on me and that soul searching stuff, ive become quite comfortable with who i am- i dont need to have a jillion friends and go out all the time. the handful i have who i can get into some pretty deep conversations with, share our problems and find solutions, and share our joys, fears, frustrations, and everything else in life is a blessing(two of those friends if mine are here on SR. havent ever met em, but they are amazingly awesome people, even when theyre using their crowbars to pop my head outta my but!).
plus im an introvert.so goin out socializing wears me out and drains me.
as far as clothing? i bought new socks last month!!! pants and shirts? i sit here in 8 year old jeans with my right knee stickin out and left knee will be soon. my shirt has old stains in it.
and im ok with that,too.
theyre clean! if id had been drinking theyd prolly be what i put on friday morning.
i do have clothes that arent torn, stained, but it doesnt bother me because i have clothes to wear!
ok, i rambled there. the main theme to it:
a LOT changed for me for the better when i made the decision i wanted to stop drinking,change who i was and how i felt about myself, and put in the same amount of energy i did when i was getting that next drink.
you can do it,too, madruski!