Madruski

And no time or desire for a social life.

The only desire is to drink after a hard days work(carpenter) . probably a bottle of wine a night , and a box of beer for Saturday night.

I know, its not ALOT of overboard drinking, in fact a bottle a night some ppl consider normal. But iam only 25, its just gonna get worse as I get older.

I actually have no desire anymore too meet new friends, date and meet woman, shop for new cloths, or even exercise. Working 50 hours a week plus drinking is a real drain on my health and life outlook.

But I wonder, is it the bottle? Or am I just naturally lazy.

I don't mind the work, its the drinking that ruins everything. Longest I've gone is 30 days without. And frankly sick of trying to quit over and over .

I look at some "healthy" people my age , and envy how they haven't let themselves be pulled into this maelstrom of constant hangovers and life disappointment.

In regards socialising, iam abit of an anti social person and abrutally honest realist,. And suppose it's anxiety that's always there , I have learned to overcome it. But the effort is huge to constantly fight the anxiety , so I don't bother dealing with it, easier to just stay at home and let the other young people be friends togethor without me. I have no friend's

Except the bottle.

Thanks for the read. Needed to vent