ICanDoBetter

Today is day three... Something I'm pretty sure I haven't seen for a year... Wow, it feels quite pathetic to admit that realization,

So I have arrived at day three just in time for the weekend... I assume this shall be a new fresh hell :-). I shall do my best to busy myself.. Errands, workouts, etc. My husband and I have dinner with a few other couples tomorrow and I'm already contemplating my beverage choice... Iced tea or soda. I'm looking forward to offering to be the driver and actually following through with it...

We are also planning to make a Valentine's dinner together as a family on Sunday. The kids had fun planning it out last night.

I haven't actually said out loud to my husband that I'm now on this journey (again). We've discussed it before but he just can't support me in the way that I need. I was tempted last evening to say it but just couldn't. I want to prove it a bit to myself first, and he will undoubtedly see the results, if only through the lack of recycling bin contents and credit card charges.

I do have a friend who has been down this road successfully who I have reached out to and is happy to be an outlet as well. I appreciate have someone that I know with whom I've confided this as I know that she can relate with the struggles and won't judge me. With time I'll open up to more friends.

I've also long suspected that my mother considered herself an alcoholic but I never had the nerve to ask her point blank. I grew up in a house with no alcohol and in recent years as I realized my struggle became more curious. She passed away almost two years ago and I would like to at some point work up the nerve to ask my dad, but I realize that also means admitting the reason for my question. I do know that my dad's father was an alcoholic, something I only learned in the last year.

Anyhow, sorry for the early morning ramblings... So many thoughts spinning around in my slowly clearing head :-). Happy Friday all!