When my ex was being good, he only met about 8 of those. When he was bad he met all of those, and then some more.
Oh Gawd, to think that I thought 8 of those were actually OK, and I could deal with that, but then when his "real" person emerged, I have no words for that.
For my second divorce ary, I lit my wood stove, I got out all of my journals, and that 12 inches of paperwork that I went thru for me to get a divorce, and I celebrated by burning most of it. It was too much for one night, so I continued the ritual the next day.
Thomas, I respectfully disagree with what you said. Alcohol does not turn someone into the abusive person that we are speaking about here.
At first my ex needed to have alcohol to hit all on the list, and then surpass it. I was around for 26 years. He no longer needed the alcohol to be who he was.
My ex was abusive and most likely BPD. BPD/NPD while drunk. To me he then turned or showed BPD/NPD drunk or sober.
amy