Hello NeverQuit,
Gosh, your story/spouse sounds familiar. Except we've moved to a new area and don't have friends and family around. Just know you are doing the right thing and be strong in your resolve.
I wasn't a heavy drinker, but it had become a habit to wind down after work. Did my share of acting stupid when I'd had too much. But three years ago I stopped as part of a get healthy campaign. Not even a trip to Italy and the temptations of a tour through the Northern Prosecco country dented my resolve. I'd lost 40 pounds and was feeling great. No hangovers in the morning....great. I had a sober friend who had been an alcoholic in his earlier days. He had a phrase; "one is too many and 10 is not enough." I was getting there. So I stopped.
My wife, however, drinks until she's blotto. Nothing like laying in bed with a woman "off-gassing" alcohol, the smell just oozing from her skin. And breath that would peel the paint off a Greyhound bus at 10 paces.
I'm developing an exit strategy, but first I have to get my mind around the fact that this isn't something that I can fix. Super good advice from folks who have posted on a thread I started.
I go to Al-Anon and yes, some of those folks have problems that dwarf mine. But, none are more important to me....as they say: "take what you need and leave the rest," and "keep coming back, it works."
Good luck.