Ok so this might be a little personal for me, but I had a friend who committed suicide. And let me tell you the reason why s/he did was sooooo not worth it. Had this person just waited it out, it would have all resolved itself in the end.
Nothing, and I repeat nothing is worth killing yourself or someone else. The situation might seem dire at first, but you can always do something, you can always talk to someone... Just remember you will have a lifetime to see the situation corrected, you have a lifetime to make amends and make something right, you have a lifetime- and you dont want to cut that lifetime short. You only get one. One life, One shot at life. One.
Im glad you are going to meetings, you dont want to ruin this one.