I've been exercising. But the tears come back.
My ex-ALO appears to everyone else, including me, as the strong one. It's up to me to be the strong one as well. No one can do it but me, etc.
But I have no appetite. My sleep is becoming fragile. I've lost weight I need for another upcoming surgery. The things I do to change this --get out to a class, etc-- feel like working without pay. There's no joy in my world.
So I fake it with smiles at work. But I guess that's not good enough. My addict says he's heard things when I press him. He wouldn't make up something I can easily check. Bottom line: I am a wreck and he's dealing with life just fine. In some ways I wish I were him.