Originally Posted by
Steve3929 
I totally get what you are saying. Starting off extremely stressed and driving yourself nuts would impede any future success. Especially with a plan of gradually quitting. I think your idea has merit. Though, I am not as traditional as a lot of people on here. I think you can do it.
Thanks for saying that, it means a lot to me.
I just know that when I finally did stay sober for those 87 days, it was because I did have a routine of going to meetings, I had a sponsor, I had sober women to reach out to... some with long term sobriety, but my best sober friend who I don't think I ever would have gotten sober without, she was a newcomer like me. We were going through it together. It was a matter of keep coming back until finally there was enough support in place where I wanted to stay sober. I wanted to be able to tell my best friend at the time that I had not relapsed. But I also felt comfortable enough with her that she was the first person I told when I did relapse. Even before I told my sponsor. Because I knew she was ganna love me the same either way. No judgment.
For me, I just think I need to keep trying. Keep working at finding support, keep looking for people who want sobriety, keep trying to find friends who want the same thing I do. Eventually it will click. And I'll stay sober.