Delilah1

In reflecting on Zelda Fan's quote I started thinking about just what made me screw up at ninety days originally. I just spent some time reading my threads from when I first joined SR in March of 2012, and found some good insight into my head (yes that can be scary!!))

I first joined in March of 2012, only made one post, and I remember this was after returning from a day at the wineries, and I had way too much to drink. It wasn't the first time I decided I was drinking too much, but the first time I made any sort of effort. However, that post sat alone until September, when I made one other post.

My first serious attempt began in October of 2012, I got involved in counseling, SR, Women for Sobriety, exercise, reading, family, and I fully committed to my sobriety. I remained fully committed through the holidays, and into January of 2013. About a week and a half into January I went on a family ski trip, and remained sober for the beginning, even hitting 90 days, it was then that the thought pooped in and I slowly started getting back to old habits.

During the rest of 2013 and through May of 2014 I had back and forth posts when I was coming on here, most of which started with something like "I have decided to stop counting days." "Day one again", "Struggling"

Fast forward to May of 2015 because I is t start any of my own threads for almost an entire year. From May-Drcember I had several periods of sobriety, as well as several health issues and major life events. It was like a constant battle inside my head "You should stop," "You are fine, there is no harm in a few glasses of wine." This battle went on in my head for a few months and by New Years Eve I was DONE with my inner insanity!

So since then I have been on here everyday. I don't always start my own threads, but I do post on others to encourage, and in the January class or weekend thread for accountability. I am using SR, WFS, Yoga, meditation, reading recovery books, healthy eating, and planned time with family to keep me on this path.

In reflecting my danger signs are when I stop counting, because I get complacent, when I stop logging on, because that means my mind is starting to turn those little wheels thinking I am just fine and don't need to worry about recovery.

Ok, so here is the point of my extremely long post. Recovery is a lifelong journey, and we each take our own path. However, we need to be able to take time to look back on our journey to see where we may have failed in the past, and set ourselves up for success moving forward. If you are struggling hang in there, reread old threads you have started, and find out what worked, and what didn't. For those just starting out, know that it is your journey to take, but you need to be willing to take an honest look inside, and be willing to admit that you cannot do it completely on your own.