As my drinking got worse those friendly bartenders told me I could no longer be served there. My drinking got out of control but I look back and can see that it was always out of control. I hope you take the time to think about what you want out if life. Since I have attempted sobriety I have discovered that I was not achieving my goals because I was an active alcoholic. I know that active addiction narrows my perspective to the point that I cannot truly see reality. I hope you have a great day!