Your husband needs help. He needs to understand why he behaves the way he does. I was one of those husbands for 27 years. I was a chemical abuser for 44 years. It started in High School with social anxiety. I learned that drinking would help me regain control over social circumstances that made me feel helpless, trapped and lacking control. I would regain control with a quick fix or mood changer of alcohol. It's real easy to over drink because as soon as you start coming down you feel the anxiety and crank it up. Soon you are drunken idiot.
I was on autopilot with this corrupted thinking all my adult life. The trick, if you will is to learn to regain control or reverse the helpless, trapped feelings with an alternative healthy behavior. The antidote is to understand and manage your emotions, your feelings, in a healthy manner.
Your husband could go to Psychotherapy to learn this. In my case, I turned to God when my wife left me and my first born son became a heroin addict. I get my feelings from the Bible now. I regain control with Christ driven behavior that reverses feelings of helplessness and empowers me with new thinking, new values and self control. Sorry for the homily, but these are my facts. People change when they hurt enough and have to or when they learn enough and want to.
Addendum: My wife and I have are married 30 years now and never more in love. My son is sober and healthy and works security!
My prayers are with you.