Thank's. I did talk to the sponser and I have made amends about it. I guess what surprises me is how fast i can go back.I know I am not perfect and am never going to be,but the " I am a bad person" feelings I can live without today. I guess I am looking for reassurance and other's experience with old behavior in sobriety. I know if I dont catch myself, eventually old behavior will take me back out. Relapse for me,always starts in my head and in my actions, weeks before picking up.