Thank you all for weighing on the kid situation. It's really hard but I will put my kids first. I say hard because I can't get a job in my field of science where we live. It have job interviews in other states but if this means I have to lose my kids I will just have to do some thing else. I won't be able to be an academic prof anymore because I will lose momentum in my career. My career path is unforgiving for the detours in life. I see the lawyer next week to talk about my case in more depth. The thoughts of kids enduring crazy without me there are too much to bare.
I am reading lot around the forum and finding a lot shared experiences. These help so much