Hello Everyone!
Today I have 20 months opiate FREE! 7-7-2016!
I'm feeling good about getting things done too! While on those pain pills I didn't give a crap about anything! I did what was mandatory and said screw the rest of it. Life sucks and I'll take another handful of pills to forget everything! Worked great in my mind! Why should I care about anything when I had the wonderful pills to pop? I was so in love with them and felt they were going to keep me feeling wonderful right up to the point I needed another dose!
Well those doses didn't last! I'm sure others on here can agree with me? Right before I'd run out of them I'd be freaking out trying to figure out how to get more! I'd end up starting to w/d off them instead! Days later I'd get my refill in the mail. I'd grab that bottle out of the mailbox and kiss it! Ugh! Remember? I was in love with those pills? They were the answer to me feeling good!
The problem though I had reached a point of needing to take so many of them the bottle ran out quickly!
I'd come to my good senses and tell myself: "It was time!" Time to get off them again! God I hated going thru the days, weeks in order to start feeling better! But I did it! I made it thru to the other side! My doom and gloom veil had lifted! I started actually feeling alive again! Not just a person existing!
I missed how the pain meds made me feel in the beginning of not taking them! But I also remembered how it was when I didn't have any and would have to wait days for them to come in. I'd take so many I'd actually throw up! I was so messed up I just wasn't ME anymore! And I missed ME!
I'm truly grateful I have it within myself to abstain from them. Life only gets easier the longer I stay off them! I think too? What's going to happen if I'm messed up on pills and there's an emergency I have to attend to? I don't want to be caught in that scenario! The what if's are always around the corner! I want to be clean when it happens!
Everyone have a clean day!
TOD