Girlfriend movin out
My Girlfriend is moving out after I went binge drinking and got in another fight, I came home with a bloody lip and briefly remember getting into a fight with a guy at the bar. I am not a fighter and when I get drunk i think I just make bad decisions and lose my filter. I yelled at my gf and said mean stuff while blacked out and now she is moving out for space and safety. She says I have 90 days to try and change and work on the relationship and there is a small chance that we will make it through this together. I don't crave alcohol, I can easily not drink when I want to and actually don't really like drinking that much. But sometimes when I go to the bar and get past 2 or three drinks have trouble stopping and go till last call and dont even know my own name.
I often wonder how come I don't get cut off because my brain is totally turned off and I lose control of much of my decision making. Why do the keep serving me? Why do I not ever figure out enough is enough? What can I do to let her know I am sorry I get that out of control. I am not drinking for all of february and am sure this is something I can do. I am really considering giving up alcohol forever because I keep getting myself into trouble (fights, arrested, saying stuff I don't mean, running up huge bar tabs, cheating,blacking out). I need to fix this and I want to give her the space to heal and the time to forgive me but I don't want to lose her.