I read this posting earlier today and thought "gosh, good question, I don't know the answer. I'll have to check back in later after I think about it some."
I think, like others have said, that I've used each of the 2 methods at times. I do tend more towards the "be with your thoughts/emotions" side, probably b/c I'm not all that good at permanently stopping the thoughts--they just pop up later when I let my guard down, so I may as well deal w/them when they arise. I found the following on the internet right before XAH actually moved out, when I was the most frightened about being alone, and I printed it out and posted it prominently for myself. It did (and still does) me worlds of good; maybe you'll like it too:
This Will Pass
Breathe. You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade, and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.
(((Hugs))), Gem.