Originally Posted by
bluedog97 
I think it's my baggage, Dee. I'm working on it, but it's a slow process.
But the bottom line is I come up with excuses to drink and in the moment, my AV takes hold and I give in after becoming frustrated.
I'm going to start using RR to battle the beast, I've never really incorporated it into my routine. All the while continuing to work on my baggage. I'm doing IOP ( although that's disappointing), got a therapist, and may start going to AA at some point.
I think we all have baggage. For me the whole deal changed when I made a commitment to dealing with that baggage and not running away to the bottle anymore.
I really had to take drinking off the table as a viable option for me.
Whatever excuses I could make up - and some were valid upsetting things - I had to accept that drinking at them was BS,,,finding other ways to deal with whatever I was drinking over was a really important change.
it's not easy but you're not alone - there's support here
I think the same applies to you too ladybug - you need to find other ways to deal with 'stuff'
D