lou......breaking the bonds with another that we have formed bonds with is always painful....among the most acutely painful of the human emotions.
An irony of that is that it feels the same if the relationship has been bad or good....This is human nature....
On the other hand...the pain doesn't last forever. Over time, it fades and will disappear as life goes on.
I call it short-term pain for the long-term gain......
I commend you for being able to make a difficult decision in favor of your own well-being.....
Many people hang on to a situation like this for years....or, even decades....and suffer greatly because of it.....
Until he can decide that he wants to get sober and work a program, it will continue to get worse and worse.....
The alcoholism is more powerful than you are.....it is his first "love"....
I urge you to hang around and read...read...read....and learn all you can.
You might want to read the book: "co-dependent No More"......I think it will resonate with you......
You are grieving the loss of your "dream", right now...and, this is normal....
I understand what you mean about the kitten......
dandylion