He seems functional. Nice, if distant. The veneer I fell in love with, that I insisted come closer. Once. Not anymore.
I denied. I denied even as he worked dramatic shift changes that would slay a 20-year-old. His 30 minute bathroom visits. His twitchy semblance of sleep. I denied when I saw him wait for Dad's car to leave so he could get money from Mom even as he got raises at work. Even as I myself loaned him money so he wouldn't have to lower himself to Mom. But he went anyway.
I seethed at her unwelcome intrusiveness into every facet of our lives save one. His addiction. I used to think I could reach out to her and persuade her to be part of an intervention. I'm no longer in denial about this either. She's persuaded herself to believe him in that his smoking meth is "under control" and that the meth isn't the problem I was supposed to be the serious girlfriend, and that was the one time her nose just whisked out of that tent. She is invested in believing that he can't survive without her. That's her first priority, as opposed to his life.
I'm not in denial that I have a codependency problem complicated by immense resentment toward the mom.. Which brings me to my point. My groups are populated primarily by moms worried about their adult children, primarily sons. The undercurrent is that if you're not blood, you don't understand. I do understand that. I do get that it might be "more" if you're related, especially that way.
But I was not nothing. But I was something. I have an issue. I need to find a group populated primarily by those wounded in peer relationships.
I was thinking CODA. Does anyone have info on them?