I'm so so sorry
Those memories and nostalgia of the good times are painful. I've been there too. It rips your heart out seeing what was, what could have been if not for alcohol/addiction. I adore the advice given by seriouskarma.
My husband used to be a loving, kind, hard-working, involved father. Now I look at him, all glassy-eyed and dazed out and feel like I'm in a zombie thriller movie where my husband got inflicted but I managed to escape.