W-wow. Yep. I turned into someone I didn't recognize either-I too would beg (and do other things I'm not proud of) my abusjve husband not to leave me after he would abuse me-and then he would call me crazy. I was-to stay with him and trust him as my husband and the father to our kids. My self esteem was in the gutter. We will get through this-and Wisconsin, you're a shining example of recovery in action. Kudos!!