Struggling
I don't know what to say here, really. I just kind of need some support.
Against my better judgement, I decided to try to talk to my addict. I gave myself a couple days of distance from him so I could think about it. I have asked him to talk twice (he has no idea why I stopped speaking to him), but every time I bring up that I want to talk to him, he starts ignoring me! I don't know if this is because he knows I'm going to break up with him or because he really just doesn't care what I have to say...This really has nothing to do with him. It's me. I feel like I need this conversation with him to get my closure. It just doesn't feel final until I hear the words coming out of my mouth, I guess...
I'm struggling with so many emotions right now. I'm having a really hard time distracting myself from this situation. I really wish I could get back into therapy for a few sessions, but financially it's just not realistic right now. I'm planning on attending a NarAnon meeting tomorrow. I feel so frustrated that I even have to do that. I want more than anything to put everything addiction related behind me and not look back, but I can't. As much as I don't want to admit it, I need the support of people who actually know what I'm going through.