there might be something in your statement; "I can no longer drink".
When I used to say things like that to myself.... the thing it turned out I was totally missing was the feeling of frustration and unfairness and resistance it created.
I began to turn the corner of sobriety into a whole different place of depth and reward when I began to turn "I can no longer drink" into "I no longer WANT to drink".
When I consciously changed my messages from "I HAVE to stop drinking" to "I CHOOSE to be sober" - the whole thing shifted for me.
It didn't happen right away. It took some raw emotions and some forced re-framing. I had to journal it, write it down, say it to myself in the mirror. I had to make lists of all the GOOD things sobriety represented for me. I had to search out role models - both 'real life' role models and symbolic ones... musicians, celebrities, writers.
When I caught myself thinking things like "I'm not as good as them" or "There's something wrong with me" at functions where others were drinking - I had to catch myself and say to myself "I am a role model for another way of living. I am proud to be choosing a different path. I am a healthy man making a healthy choice. I am an example to others, and a loving supporter of my SELF".
It wasn't easy and it sometimes felt like a lie.... but I kept at it.
It was a struggle with emotions and a rollercoaster of thought and feeling for close to a year. But I kept at it.
And I went to AA and I read the Big Book and I began to work the steps (over two years later, I'm still gradually working through).....
But after that first year, things got a LOT better.
Congratulations on 6 weeks not drinking.... and welcome to the first steps of Sobriety!!
It gets better.
And better.
And better......
